Earl Gray

Earl Gray
"You can argue with me but, in the end, you'll have to face that fact that you're arguing with a squirrel." - Earl Gray

Friday, July 5, 2013

The Blurbosphere

Earl the Squirrel's Rule #60
    If you are in a dimension where bad poetry is written (why?), published (why?) and praised (FFS, why?!) then you are in the Blurbosphere.  To thrive here you need to remember only one rule:  "If you can't say anything good don't say anything at all."  Given what you'll encounter, this is tantamount to saying "STFU."  No matter.  Most of it will leave you speechless anyway.

    This fantasy land is a source of humor and wonder to the unaffected but consider its impeccable logic:

    "Why are the poems so bad?" a foolish neophyte might ask.

    "What difference does it make?" comes the reply.  "Have you checked out the readership figures?"

    "And why is no one reading?"

    "Have you checked out the poems?"

     Granted, it's a doughnut argument--perfectly circular, utterly simple and empty at its core--but we shouldn't overlook how elegantly it resolves that Gordian knot we call "The Watermelon Problem".  For those who missed it, here is the nutshell version:

Earl the Squirrel's Rule #52
    "Suppose you were to have encountered a blindingly brilliant poem.  As an Editor-in-Chief of a premier literary magazine what do you do if such an unpublished poem drops into your lap?  Yes, I know, you publish it--"


     Why make every other contribution look bad by comparison?  Why make your publication look like an IQ Test question:  "Which of these does not belong?"  Do you want to have readers, if they exist, asking the obvious question:  "Why can't all poetry be like this?"

     Don't publish it.  Problem solved.

     Brilliant, no?


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