Earl Gray

Earl Gray
"You can argue with me but, in the end, you'll have to face that fact that you're arguing with a squirrel." - Earl Gray
Showing posts with label Hurdles Rule. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hurdles Rule. Show all posts

Thursday, July 31, 2014

July's Second Funniest Line

Jennifer Schuessler
     Jennifer Schuessler's 2014-07-28 New York Times article "Is Poetry Dead? Not if 45 Official Laureates Are Any Indication" is a delicious irony, suggesting that the presence of so many Poet Laureates proves that Americans take verse seriously.

     Leaving aside the North Carolina scandal, the source of this month's funniest line, imagine if someone cited as proof of a nation-wide crackdown on crime the fact that the federal government and 44 of the states have an Attorney General.

     LOL!



     Lest you suspect things might be better north of the 49th, where the tiniest towns may honor local poets with the title, the region that boasts of being "The Cultural Center of Canada" has a grand total of zero provincial or civic Poet Laureates.  LOL!


Sunday, July 20, 2014

Poet Laureate - Part II

North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory (R)
     While cruising the online forums I came across the funniest line I've read this century.  I'll share it with you, largely because, in the firestorm over the North Carolina Poet Laureate Scandal, some comic relief might be welcome.  To fully appreciate the humor, though, we need some background facts for context.  Not the least of these is that Nobody Reads Poetry.

     Apologies for the rehash.

     In " Numbers" we saw Mark Halliday drastically misguess the number of poets in America at 10,000 to 30,000.  I'd wager that Manhattan alone has more than that.  For a certainty, one of the most obscure critical venues on the Internet, Zoetrope, currently has 113,689 members, most of them in its poetry forum.  This is only one example of an almost universal trend among academics:  they grossly underestimate the number of Americans who write poetry (~3,000,000), even as they overestimate the number of others who read it (~0).  In addition to the onliners, Print Worlders seem honestly unaware of millions--yes, millions--of open mikers, slammers, vanity types and lovers who dabble in the art form (and haven't been offered any book deals).  Barely a handful know who Margaret Ann Griffiths or Marc Smith are. 

     In most pursuits professors number fewer than 1% of all practitioners.  In poetry, it might be as high as 2%.  When the other 98+% speak of this tiny minority we often hear expressions like "Ivory Tower", "detached", "isolated" and "out of touch", along with some anti-intellectual terms not worth mentioning.  Could you imagine how funny it would be to see someone from the least circumspect 2% presuming to communicate on behalf of the entire poetry community, let alone as the vox populi? 

     Speaking of the populace, we must always bear in mind how indifferent the public is to this position in the absence of such unprofessional behavior by Arts Council partisans.  Did I mention that Nobody Reads Poetry?

Valerie Macon
     Notice that, while a few of the online articles have posted links to Valerie Macon's "Vegetarian Meat Lover" (from "Shelf Life", 2011) and "Detour" (from "Sleeping Rough", 2014), not one has included links to poems or performances by any previous Poet Laureate.  How can we be asked to compare without examples from everyone?  Can Ms. Macon's work be worse than her predecessors'?  Perhaps, but not by much.

     The official job description for the position of North Carolina Poet Laureate is to "act as an ambassador of N.C. literature, using the office as a platform from which to promote N.C. writers and the potentially transformative quality of poetry and the written word."

     Did you catch where it said "ambassador...to promote..."?  Compare this to the Arts Council's criteria:

 - A North Carolinian with deep connections to the cultural life of this state

 - Literary excellence of the writer's work

 - Influence on other writers

 - An appreciation of literature in its diversity throughout the state.

 - Statewide, national or international reputation

 - Ability and willingness to conduct the public engagement duties of the office

     Notice how the only reference to "the public" mentions not the great unwashed themselves but the candidate's willingness to engage with such rabble as one of her duties?  Perhaps council members fear that non-poets will think "Laureate" refers to some kind of rope trick.  Notice how self-serving (e,g. "literary excellence" will be judged by academics, not geeks and certainly not by the public or the 98%, all of whom Arts Council members are completely unaware), self-absorbed (e.g. "deep connections", "influence on other writers", "reputation") and unrelated to the job description these guidelines are?  The position is explicitly that of a promoter, not some combination gadfly/writer-in-residence.  Did you gag when they mentioned "diversity"? 

     Unlike Arts Council members, the governor is elected by the people of North Carolina.  Love him or hate him, it is his job and no one else's to pick the next Poet Laureate on behalf of the citizenry he represents.  Imagine the uproar if, having done his job by selecting Valerie Macon, Governor McCrory had wasted the Arts Council's time on a redundant search process. 

Ed Southern
     And now, in all its glory, the punchline, from Ed Southern, Executive Director, North Carolina Writers’ Network, expressing the jilted Arts Council's concern over the Governor daring to make a decision on his own:

    "Choosing to ignore this process means choosing to ignore the people of the state."

     Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

     "...the people of the state", no less!

     Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

     Erk!

     Coffee.

     Keyboard.

     Damn you, Ed!



Links:

1. Poet Laureate

2. Poet Laureate - Part II

3. Hurdles Rule - Part I

4. Hurdles Rule - Part II

5. "Vegetarian Meat Lover" from "Shelf Life" (2011) by Valerie Macon, with a 2011 Pushcart nomination

6. "Detour" from "Sleeping Rough" (2014) by Valerie Macon, with a 2013 Pushcart nomination

7. North Carolina Poet Laureate (2005-2009) Kathryn Stripling Byer Reads from "Descent"

8. North Carolina Poet Laureate (2010-2012) Cathy Smith Bowers reads "Snow"

9. North Carolina Poet Laureate (2012-2014) Joseph Bathanti Reads "Knocked"



   Your feedback is appreciated!

    Please take a moment to comment or ask questions below or, failing that, mark the post as "funny", "interesting", "silly" or "dull".  Also, feel free to expand this conversation by linking to it on Twitter or Facebook.  Please let us know if you've included us on your blogroll so that we can reciprocate.

    If you would like to contact us confidentially or blog here as "Gray for a Day" please use the box below, marking your post as "Private" and including your email address;  the moderator will bring your post to our attention and prevent it from appearing publicly.

    We look forward to hearing from you.

Signed,

Earl Gray, Esquirrel


Friday, July 18, 2014

Hurdles Rule - Part II

North Carolina Governor Pat McClory
From "Poet Laureate":

Question #2:  Regardless of the endeavor, should you choose a complete unknown or from a group with a long, unbroken record of abject failure?

     If you went with the latter you should avoid games involving odds, starting with poker, bridge and backgammon.  If you answered "a complete unknown" then you can understand why an Arts Council is the last place anyone should seek recommendations for Poet Laureate.

From "Hurdles Rule" (Part I):

   If one group is filled with people who can't jump higher than a foot and a second group has participants who can't jump higher than three feet which group probably has the better leapers?

    While nothing is certain, the odds favor the second group producing better hoppers.



Valerie Macon
     Suppose one individual fails in two attempts while another fails in five tries.  Looking forward, which is more likely to succeed on their next opportunity?

     Now suppose the 5-time loser had a lot of help and still flopped.  Clearly, this is all the more reason to put our money on the 2-time stumbler. 

     Now suppose we are talking about poets.  One self-publishes two tomes without achieving a significant public audience.  Fail!  Another poet produces five collections through reputable publishers, enjoying the benefits of editors, promoters, college degrees, blurbers and friendly awards committees;  all five collections are utterly ignored by poetry lovers outside the author's coterie (and inside it on YouTube).  Epic fail!
    
     Which author is more likely to create something worth reading eventually?



Earl the Squirrel's Rule #33

    Chris Vitiello's soon-to-be-infamous opinion piece, "McCrory’s mean joke, a poet laureate who’s barely a poet", is disturbing, representing as it does the opposition to Carolina Governor Pat McCrory's selection of Valerie Macon as Poet Laureate.

    The article begins with a hint of misapprehension.  It seems Mr Vitiello thinks that the Arts Council makes the decision.  They don't.  They advise the governor, whose job is to make the appointment.  Period.  In this case, the governor, having found a suitable candidate, had the good manners not to waste the Arts Council's time with an unnecessary pro forma search process.

    Chris then goes to great length to establish that he doesn't know what Poet Laureates do.  After a self-serving and off-point description of the Arts Council's guidelines¹ for their recommendations, he exhibits his misunderstanding of the role thus:  

   "A poet laureate should be a truly stellar poet and, more importantly, an educator..."

"...a truly stellar poet?"
    None of Ms. Macon's predecessors come close to meeting the first criterion.  Nor can many others we can name at the state or national level.  As for the second misconception, let me explain this in terms every tarheel other than Mr. Vitiello and his ilk understands intuitively:  A poet laureate is a cheerleader, not a player, coach or scorekeeper.  Their ability to write, teach or assess poetry is, at best, secondary.  Ask yourself what recent initiatives have succeeded in promoting poetry within the broader public.  Those are the only measure of a Poet Laureate's success.

      Take a close look at the last four Poet Laureates in North Carolina (or anywhere else, for that matter).  Do you see many performance poets?  Geeks?  Talented hobbyists?  No.  Just academics.  Not even their graduates.  Just the teachers.  The role of arts organizations and councils is to support and encourage the interests of their job-seeking supply-siders.  While this is a noteworthy and necessary task, that of a Poet Laureate is the exact opposite:  to support and encourage interest on the demand side.  We are comparing a labor exchange to a public relations firm.

    The list of poets whose names would not be put forth by such an arts council begins with Margaret Ann Griffiths, both Brownings, and William Shakespeare.

    Mr. Vitiello then lapses into naked politicalized condescension:

    "Hey, doesn't that nice lady on the first floor write poetry? I think I saw something pinned to her bulletin board. She should be poet laureate."

    As a Facebook friend observed, even if this were true it would constitute more care and involvement than other governors, most of whom blindly and obediently rubberstamp their Art Council's recommendation.  Given that the idea is to impress the public with poetry, why does it not make sense to begin with their elected representative--the person who is hiring you?  Is it really so inconceivable that the poetry an Arts Council approves might not be what the general population [or, for that matter, a more knowledgeable geek] enjoys?

    As outrageous as this is, Mr. Vitiello then predicts an announcement after Ms. Macon's 2-year term:  "We’ve evaluated the effectiveness of the poet laureate over the last two years and have decided the position no longer merits taxpayer funding."

    How could poetry's profile be any more obscure in 2016 than it is now?  (To be fair,  I could ask the same question in any jurisdiction in the English-speaking world.)  Mr. Vitiello's chutzpah is astounding;  does anyone doubt that if the position of NC Poet Laureate is abolished it will because of the uproar from misguided critics like Chris?

Chris Vitiello
    Yet again, Mr. Vitiello tangents on and on about Ms. Macon's abilities as a poet without, you will note, mentioning the lifeless prose "poems" of those who preceded her.  This is almost as irrelevant as Chris Vitiello's own poetry (which, in case you are curious, is every bit as professional and lucid as his photograph).  He then insults self-publishers without mentioning that they share the same 0% success ratio as third party publications achieve.  This is followed by a critique revealing that Vitiello has never seen an incomplete sentence before, at the same time explaining why he doesn't frequent serious (i.e. online) critical forums.  He seems to believe that all poetry is journalism, making it incumbent upon poets to interview everyone mentioned in their poems.

Kathryn Stripling Byer
    Many of us who oppose the misinformed Mr. Vitiello will resent him for forcing us to defend a decision made by someone like Governor Pat McCrory.  As they say, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

    Of course, all of this comes before any discussion of elitism.

    Rather, let us compare Mr. Vitiello's sneering tone and lack of generosity to the actions of past Poet Laureate Kathryn Stripling Byer in offering to help Ms. Macon.

    More to the point, compare Mr. Vitiello's partisanship and disingenuity to the grace Valerie Macon displayed in her letter of resignation².

    Enough said.



Footnotes:

¹ - "Meanwhile, NCAC guidelines state that the laureate should possess 'deep connections to the cultural life of this state, literary excellence and influence on other writers and appreciation of literature in its diversity throughout the state."

     Of course, the only criterion that matters is the official job description, which states that a Poet Laureate will "act as an ambassador of N.C. literature, using the office as a platform from which to promote N.C. writers and the potentially transformative quality of poetry and the written word."

Read more here: http://www.newsobserver.com/2014/07/15/4007210/nc-poet-laureate-criteria-has.html?sp=/99/100/&ihp=1#storylink=cpy


² - Valerie Macon's resignation letter

Dear Governor McCrory,

I would like to thank you for the confidence you placed in me to represent our
state as the North Carolina Poet Laureate. However, I have decided to step down
from this position effective immediately. I do not want the negative attention that
this appointment has generated to discourage or distract attention from the
Office of the Poet Laureate.

I remain passionate about the mission of poetry to touch all people regardless of
age, education or social status. I would like to encourage everyone to read and
write poetry. They do not need a list of prestigious publishing credits or a
collection of accolades from impressive organizations just the joy of words and
appreciation of self-expression.

I would like to thank the many individuals who have voiced their support of my
appointment.

Sincerely,

Vmium

Valerie Macon



Links:

1. Poet Laureate

2. Poet Laureate - Part II

3. Hurdles Rule - Part I

4. Hurdles Rule - Part II

5. "Vegetarian Meat Lover" from "Shelf Life" (2011) by Valerie Macon, with a 2011 Pushcart nomination

6. "Detour" from "Sleeping Rough" (2014) by Valerie Macon, with a 2013 Pushcart nomination

7. North Carolina Poet Laureate (2005-2009) Kathryn Stripling Byer Reads from "Descent"

8. North Carolina Poet Laureate (2010-2012) Cathy Smith Bowers reads "Snow"

9. North Carolina Poet Laureate (2012-2014) Joseph Bathanti Reads "Knocked"



    Your feedback is appreciated!

    Please take a moment to comment or ask questions below or, failing that, mark the post as "funny", "interesting", "silly" or "dull".  Also, feel free to expand this conversation by linking to it on Twitter or Facebook.  Please let us know if you've included us on your blogroll so that we can reciprocate.

    If you would like to contact us confidentially or blog here as "Gray for a Day" please use the box below, marking your post as "Private" and including your email address;  the moderator will bring your post to our attention and prevent it from appearing publicly.

    We look forward to hearing from you.

Signed,

Earl Gray, Esquirrel